Author: Quannee Oosahwe

IT’S THEIR GAME

Newsletter III

A Newsletter for Parents

Culture is Important in Selecting Your Rules

BY KIRBY GCHACU
“I:wichem’a’na:wa”, means to love, cherish, and value each other. This is what we heard growing up in the Pueblo of Zuni (on the Zuni reservation). It also conveys a value of loving one another in our family and extend the love and respect beyond the family structure.
“I:wichem’a’na:wa” was a value that was strongly instilled in me. It was supported by my community and family. It is a value that I still cherish and work towards sharing with others today. These are the types of values that are still important for youth to hear from their community and family. Helping youth to understand the importance of hearing traditional stories will help give them a better idea of who they are and what our community puts value on.
The root of traditional stories is based on the need to communicate with each other, particularly with our youth. Helping youth to become more aware of their culture by sharing traditional stories helps youth to create a stronger relationship and understanding with themselves and their community. In turn, this affects how they see themselves in this world and where their contributions are most needed.
Native cultures have stories and teachings about reproduction and puberty that have been passed down from generation to generation. These are the stories that have taught us that that sex is part of the circle of life. For instance, there is the story of the Penis and Vagina Race from the Yakama Nation, the Puberty Rights Ceremony from the Tolowa tribe, which tests both strength and endurance, and the Cheyenne story of being of Two Spirits, a story that tells of being of both a male and a female spirit. So even though you might feel uncomfortable talking to your children about sex and life, remember, it’s important we continue to communicate with them so they learn about this part of the life cycle and how their choices can have lasting effects on their lives. More importantly, with this exchange we learn more about each other and we continue to grow to be who we were meant to be - storytellers.

Ten Tips for Talking with Your Teen

1 Listen more than you talk.
2 Don’t jump to conclusions. Just because your teen asks you a question about something does not mean he or she is doing it.
3 Show your teen that they can talk to you about anything-don’t judge him or her.
4 Answer questions simply, directly and honestly.
5 Respect your teen’s views and opinions.
6 Let your teen know that his questions and thoughts are normal.
7 Admit when you don’t know the answer to a question and suggest the tow of you find the answer together.
8 Use news articles, TV shows or this newsletter to help start a conversation.
9 Teach your teen how to make good decision. Talk to them about good decisions you have made.
10 Let your teen know it’s ok to sometimes talk with another trusted adult.
Adapted from www.advocatesforyouth.org

Life is a Blessing

BY RENEE ROMAN NOSE AND KIRBY GCHACHU
As parents and caretakers, we all have goals that we wish to see our children reach. More so, it is important to talk to them about how the goals we have for them and the goals they have for themselves may be affected by teen pregnancy. You can begin the conversation of how teen pregnancy may affect their goals by talking to your teen about traditional Native values.
We view every new life as a blessing. It’s important to add, with this blessing there comes tremendous responsibility. While we value every new life, we want to make sure our youth understand what the responsibilities are for taking care of a baby. By participating in the Native It’s Your Game program, your teen will better understand the changes that happen to them during puberty and they will better understand the possible outcomes of having a sexual relationship. This is what your child is learning in Native It’s Your Game. Their understanding of the circle of life can be extended and strengthened by the conversations that you have with your teen at home.
We can find tremendous value in using our strengths as a Native community to support our children through adolescence. One way to highlight our strengths is by storytelling. When talking to your teen, focus on stories that highlight personal development and growth. For instance, in the Zuni tradition, there was a time called the Sacred Four Year Period. This was a period in time when a couple waited to have a child. This time was used to develop the roles of responsibilities needed to raise a child. It also allowed them to experience what their needs and wants were, both for themselves, for their partner, and for their family. A couple sometimes experienced the crossover of roles where the husband would learn to cook, as well as learn to do the laundry. In turn, the female may learn the tasks of her husband such as, hunting or chopping firewood. Learning and experiencing each other’s roles leads to better relationships and this most often brings a sense of appreciation towards each other. This is a lesson that is still important today.
Fortunately, you can use the take home lessons provided to facilitate the conversation of teen pregnancy with your child. During Native It’s Your Game we demonstrate that respect for all new life, for ourselves, and for our community is done through the development of personal rules around sex. To keep you in the loop, the activities encourage how youth can first SELECT their personal rules regarding sex, then DETECT risky situations so that they can avoid them, and lastly, how they can PROTECT those rules. The conversations that you have with your child around sex will significantly impact how they relate with what they have learned in Native It’s Your Game to their personal lives.

Local Resources

Alaska Youth and Family Network (AYFN) http://www.ayfn.org/
Indian Health Service
http://www.ihs.gov/alaska/index.cfm?module=home

The Native American Youth and Family Center in Portland, Oregon,
http://www.nayapdx.org/
Indian Health services
http://www.ihs.gov/portland/index.cfm?module=home

Arizona Youth and Family Services (AYFS) http://www.azyfs.org/index.php
Indian Health Service
http://www.ihs.gov/index.cfm

Lesson Overview

What will be discussed

Protecting your rules
regarding sex
Your teen will learn how to select personal rules about sex stressing that most teens are choosing to wait to have sex
How to detect challenges and protect personal rules about sex
Practice using refusal skills to protect themselves and personal rules
Consequence of pregnancy
How being a teen parent would affect your life
How to protect yourself from pregnancy
Keeping it Real:
Recognize the emotional, social, and physical consequences of having sex and the benefits of choosing to wait
Recognize that most teens in middle school are not having sex
HIV/AIDS Facts
Compared with other races/ethnicities, American Indians and Alaska Natives have poorer survival rates after an HIV diagnosis.
American Indians and Alaska Natives represented less than 1% of estimated new HIV infections in 2010
Young people aged 13–29 accounted for 39% of all new HIV infections in 2009.